July 21, 2009
What follows is a Messenger conversation intercepted by the Interwebs Security Division of Clooney Credit Canada (AKA Cloon)...
Hummingbird ("Girlfriend's Messenger Handle): Oh, dear...I'm rather inexperienced at this...
Seagull (Handle of Mysterious Feline): Don't worry Kitten, I'll take you under my paw...
Hummingbird: Well, on your profile, you said you really liked birdies... Is this true?
Seagull: Absolutely! I likes to sit real still likes a statue and observes them...
Hummingbird: Wow, I've never given that a try... Do you make that "special noise" when you observe them?
Seagull: Well, when I'm in statue position, I only does the "silent meows"...But if I'm just doing a regular observation, I makes the "special noise"...
Hummingbird: Wow, that's fascinating! Do you have lots of windows to observe birdies from?
Seagull: I do in fact. It's a bird-lover's paradise over here... So, what are you wearing right now?
Hummingbird: Oh, dear, I'm not entirely comfortable with that question... Well, my fur coat, I guess...
Seagull: I live for num-nums. Do you have num-nums at your house?
Hummingbird: Yes, we do but I prefer the tuna. If my Human uses a can-opener on anything and I hear that air escaping the can, I come out of hiding...
Seagull: I gots an allergy to tuna. Do you have any kibbles in your bowl right now?
Hummingbird: Yes, I do. We have "free feed" over here at my house.
Seagull: Really? Is that a fact?... I thinks you may be my
soul-mate...When can I move in?
Hummingbird: Oh, dear...we just met...I think we're moving too fast...
Seagull: Come on kitten, live a little, will ya? All we have is today...
Hummingbird: Well, can you send me a better picture of yourself first, that one is a little dark...
Seagull: That's what you get from canine photographers...they'z not very skilled at using the right settings...Ok, I'll see what I can do here...Bye for now, my little Kitten...
Hummingbird: Bye Seagull...
July 17, 2009
July 15, 2009
July 13, 2009
Feline Vogue magazine visited the Headquarters of Clooney Credit Canada to photograph "Girlfriend" - President of the Pink Nose Society...
FV: We applaud your efforts for saving the world "one pink nose at a time"...
"Girlfriend": Well thank you very much.
FV: How are your fundraising efforts going?
"Girlfriend": Very well. We surpassed our expectations with Phase 1 of our Fundraising with the Canada Day Dunk Tank Fundraiser.
FV: Can you tell us more about this?
"Girlfriend": Of course. The public admired the bravery of our little feline fan club member who volunteered to be dunked in the tank to raise money for our charity. There was an overwhelming response as felines, canines, and humans alike doled out the cashola to try to dunk this little one. Now alot of theese ones did not have good aim but our little volunteer did see a bit of "water action" when a family of bulldogs came on the scene.
FV: If I may ask, how much money did this event raise for the Pink Nose Society?
"Girlfriend": Well, usually I'm quite secretive about "funds" but this is all for a good cause... We raised $1000.
FV: What do you plan to do with this money?
"Girlfriend": Tim (the Secretary of the Society) and I plan on travelling to "The World Bird Sanctuary" in The United States of America where we will see rare birds and go on a bird-watching hike to identify songbirds. We will also make a charitable donation to this Sanctuary.
FV: That is very philanthropic of you.
"Girlfriend": Well that is part of the mission statement of our Society, to be involved in the conservation of birdies.
FV: Thank you for allowing us into Headquarters for this interview and photo shoot. Cloon was trying to sweet talk us into letting him into the magazine as well, but we only photograph girls. Good luck with your work with the Pink Nose Society. We will be donating 2 pairs of miniature binoculars to you for your bird-watching trip.
"Girlfriend": Wow, that is fantastic! Thanks for your publicity of our most important Society.
ANY MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC WISHING TO DONATE TO THE PINK NOSE SOCIETY PLEASE EMAIL THE PINK NOSE SOCIETY C/O email@example.com
July 11, 2009
July 8, 2009
FOR MS. TORTOROVSKY'S NEW ART EXHIBIT
Hello my fine little art enthusiasts! Since I am still on my campaign to get a Budgie, I decided to take a night job guarding the Buddha giclee, Ms. Tortorovsky's newest work of art. I need to get serious about saving my money for a Budgie cage, theese ones are expensive. I've eyed a few nice models which give Budgies lots of room to play and move around. I rather enjoy theese new position of authority. Ready, everyone for...
CLOON'S TOP 5 REASONS TO WORK THE NIGHT SHIFT:
5) I'Z NOCTURNAL SO I MIGHT AS WELL GET PAID FOR IT
4) I MULTITASK SO I GUARDS THE EXHIBIT AND WATCH MY HUMAN SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME
3) I WORKS BY MYSELF AND DON'T HAS TO SUPERVISE ELVES
2) I LIKES TO STARE AT THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
AND CLOON'S TOP REASON IS...
1) I GETS A PAID NUM-NUMS BREAK AT 3 AM
July 7, 2009
July 4, 2009
Joining Cloon via webcam is Stan on location in Washington, DC today for American Independence Day.
Cloon: Hola Muchacho!
Stan: Hola Cloon!
Cloon: How have you been little one? It's a long time since you were in-studio for an interview.
Stan: Stardom, has its price, what can I say?
Cloon: So what's been going on in your world?
Stan: I've been on an international tour circuit doing talk shows, mall appearances, country state fairs...
Cloon: Wow, Buddy! Good on ya. Have you cut back on the cerveza?
Stan: Yes, I'm sticking to Perrier now.
Cloon: Do you still eat leaves?
Stan: Of course. That's why I participate in tug of wars. The winner gets the leaves to eat.
Cloon: Is it crazy down there with the July 4th festivities?
Stan: You betcha. Theese ones know how to party!
Cloon: Well, nice talking with you little buddy. Good luck with the contests and enjoy the Fireworks tonite, I hear they're sensational.
Stan: Thanks Cloon. Yes, I'm a special guest of the President's this evening. I've got a prime spot to view the pyrotechnics from.
Cloon: Can you slip the President a flyer on the Clooneymobile please?
Stan: Will do Cloon, will do.
HAPPY 4th OF JULY TO ALL OUR AMERICAN FELINE FRIENDS!
July 3, 2009
July 1, 2009
HAPPY CANADA DAY - EH!
Hello Y'all. We're gearing up for our Canada Day Festivities at Clooney Credit Canada. We are holding an open house and tour of our Headquarters. The Paparazzi is already outside waiting to take photos and the line of interested folks keeps getting longer. Some have camped out in line overnight to be the first through the doors today and receive a limited edition souvenir $1,000,000 Bill. It is hot off the press and has my picture on it, of course. Clooney Money - it's the way of the future folks! Today's line-up of events will be:
12PM (Sharp - no latecomers will be admitted): Singing of O Canada led by
Mr. L and "The Baby"
12:10PM: "Girlfriend" will serve our Guests a round of special punch (and some catnip brownies for the felines in attendance).
12:15-1:00PM: Socializing and ice-breaker games
1:00PM (Sharp): Line-ups for the "premises" begin. (Cloon expects a good topping-up of the Num-Num Fund today as the "punch" is extra strong and the Guests will be depositing a toon to use the biffy.)
Note: Those Guests who have stronger bladders and are not lined up for the "premises" will be the first to tour through Headquarters, visiting the Assembly Line Elves, viewing the prototype of the Clooneymobile and "Ms. Tortorovsky's" new exhibit of paintings (including a beautiful Buddha giclee).
2:00PM: Mr. L and "The Baby" will be doing a special "Bollywood" number choreographed by the Infamous DJ "T.I.M."
2:30-3PM: Dunk Tank Fundraiser for "The Pink Nose Society" in the parking lot outside Clooney Credit Canada.
And that's all folks... Happy Canada Day to "Trish" (a new blog follower)!
**IMPORTANT UPDATE** Cloon and "Girlfriend" placed 2nd in the Feline Suntanning Contest. They lost out to a team of Devon Rexes from Yuma Arizona. Cloon was very upset and flew to Florida for a re-count of the suntanning hours (hence not blogging for the past week or so). But, alas, the count was accurate. (Cloon does report that there may have been an unfair advantage for the winners as Yuma happens to be one of the sunniest places in the world and Devon Rexes have no fur so theese ones can suntan forever without getting too hot).